Ekcelli… his birthday is today so Otanjoobi Omedetto Vernie Poo chan!

No…no… I didn’t forget his birthday. We had a celebration over the weekend with his friend hence why I posted an entry on his birthday.

My brother was born on the 14th of October 1992. I was 9 years old. I didn’t know nuts then, I still carried my stinky-poo pillow around, probably suckled on the pascifier still (abit old but yeah…). I still have images in my head about tip-toeing to have a glimpse through the window of the new-born nursery. The baby didn’t at all look like me, plus his head was small (to my Mom’s relief). The next time I saw him, Mom had brought him home and not long after that, she start screaming at us for not keeping the house clean during her absence.

“Those were the days when Mom still had the strength to chase us around with the ‘ting-kia’.”

I can still hold the many many memories I have of Yu Vern. I did spent a good…10-12 years sleeping next to him. Ever since he got promoted to sleep in the ‘boys’ room. He was great company. When he was younger and still mischevious, Mom would come in scolding while he was still sleeping (either because she think he didn’t study, didn’t do his homework, didn’t eat or did something wrong). He would quietly lay still and listen. After that he would cry. Aww.

I can remember being very angry at him. He shot his bb pellets at my blinds in my room not knowing the INDENTS that now seem riddled all over it like bullet holes! I was so pissed, I smashed his bb gun. Sigh… he tore a t-shirt I gave him after that. Brotherly squabbles. We never held a grudge.

I can remember whispering in his ears when he was younger, about 4-5 years old that I loved him. Well, I could do it then cause he was cute. You know? He was the baby ma… who didn’t love him then?

Everytime I scolded or sounded him, I would always feel bad after that. And everytime I felt sorry, I would always promise myself that I will donate any half of me that I could to save his life if he got into an accident. I felt as though that he was my legacy since he followed me so much, I could not disappoint.

“…..”

Anyway, even if I had regrets, I’d say, I have no regrets. Even if I said, I should’ve done something, I couldn’t. There’s nothing I could’ve done then. I only wished I told him I love him more. Luckily I did once… when we were walking home from either Mosin or the coffee shop. I can’t remember. But I did tell him, “Vern, you know I love you right?” He started to cringe and claim insanity after hearing those words… “Gay, u gay! *spat* *spat*”… 😀

“I must never forget. We must never forget.”

Alas, here comes a time when we have to believe that his sacrifice saved us all and I truly believe it did. There can be no denying it.

Happy Birthday to you Vern. Every day we live saved from here on, is your Birthday.